Dear Santa,
I think I’m in LOVE with JESUS but it’s difficult because a lot of HIS FOLLOWERS totally HATE ME. (I know, the irony is not lost on me either.) Anyway, I’m confused because I’m fully committed to bringing down the patriarchy but I’M TOTALLY CRUSHED OUT ON THE SON OF GOD!
Please forgive me for co-opting your holiday to work it out publicly in my new show “Manger Danger! Jesus as a Weapon and a Tool.” It’s just that I’ve got to get some things off my chest in a big way. Thank the Goddess my band of heathens: Matt Ray, Claudia Chopek, and Nath Ann Carrera are being totally supportive.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas – don’t work too hard!
Love,
Vivian
P.S. I left you some delicious edibles in the cat bowl on the mantel. Just eat half.
